Well, I can finally say that I train MMA. Until recently, I hadn't been making use of all the classes that my gym offers. I'd only been doing Fundamentals 3 times a week (which was plenty for someone just starting out) plus open mats here and there. 2 months in, I've finally reached a point where I'm in decent enough shape to spazz my way through kickboxing before Fundamentals and/or BJJ afterwards. I've also built up to going more often and on different days of the week. So with those adjustments, I'm getting well-rounded training in all areas: standup, clinch and ground plus gi. It's important to note that I don't actually do MMA, but I am officially training MMA in hopes of someday being able to do something resembling it.

So...apparently, people from my gym read this blog. Lots of them. I was not aware of that. I came to the realization last night at Christian's birthday party, when 90% of the guys I was talking to started referencing things I've written about and trying to guess whose nickname refers to who. It was kind of funny and kind of WTF because I had no idea so many of these dudes - yes you, lurkers, you know who you are - had found the link, presumably through Facebook, let alone read through it and were following it. I mean seriously...stalk much? It's making me reconsider an upcoming post that features a photo of me in my pink fleece froggie jammies.

It was a good night though. A little crazy, a lot of fun and kind of surreal to see everyone outside of the usual gym setting. I got to the bar around 10 pm, was only going to stay for an hour or so, and ended up leaving a little after 3 am. Luckily, I was in a responsible enough mood to space out my drinks because I get very friendly when I'm drunk and I didn't think that grappling partners were an appropriate crowd to unleash my wilder side on, so I spent the night in a happy, chilled out zone. The same cannot be said for some others, but that's another story. I'll just say that it was damn amusing and I enjoyed getting to know some people that I'd only worked with once or twice before. For example, I've discovered that Krypton is as much of a cat person as I am and we spent an unhealthy amount of time swapping pictures of the furry little critters and discussing how cool it is that they are natural BJJ practitioners (ever seen cats grapple?...'nuff said). Got to know C-Bear much better too, talked with him a lot, then Diesel and Curly, who has finally gotten his hair under control. He seems very zen about the whole thing.

Thursday wasn't nearly as tiring as the previous class but it was very informative. I did a warm-up roll with Archie, who I actually did pretty well against. I almost got his back and nearly subbed him a few times and, since he's also fairly new, it's the first time in a while that I didn't get completely dominated and was actually on the offensive for much of the time. Basically, it was a nice, even roll.

Then, Yanitza joined in for no-gi again and once class got started, I drilled various escapes from mount with her, which was great because that's how people are most often killing me. I know I won't be able to use the escapes on everyone, but at least I have some moves to think about and attempt now instead of just giving up, lying there and waiting to be armbarred. I was actually feeling pretty good by the end and would've joined the gi class but I hadn't washed mine yet. Instead, I spent half an hour in a one-on-one session with Isley, working on a bunch of different takedowns.

I got squashed last night. Like a bug. Annihilated by multiple people over the course of 3 hours. If this keeps up, my ass is going to be in shape much sooner than I thought. I keep trying to tussle with the bigger and/or stronger guys and they just trounce me without trying, every time. I must have a bit of a masochistic streak because I keep coming back for more abuse.

While the kickboxing class was wrapping up, I warmed up by rolling with KGB for 15 minutes. And when I say "warmed up," I mean that I nearly died from exhaustion while he barely worked up a sweat. When we began, he got me into a guillotine or triangle or something in the first 10 seconds. It happened so fast, I literally have no clue what kind of choke it was. All I know is that I attempted a takedown and was suddenly tapping for dear life. 10 seconds. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is. But we reset, kept going and I just kept on trying (and failing, but that's okay). It was an amazing workout but damn...guys like him, it's like grappling with a brick wall. I don't know enough techniques yet to be effective against someone that much stronger. I kept trying to do an armbar or, hell, anything at all and if you've ever been 147 lbs trying to pull someone's arm down when their arms are, like, 2-3 times the size of yours, and they're pulling in the opposite direction, you know what I'm talking about. I need a hell of a lot more practice to be able to counter the difference in strength even somewhat effectively.

I love Saturday classes because they're so laid back and relaxed. Tuesdays and Thursdays are more intense; very enjoyable and very productive but you basically get the hour to drill hard, learn the moves and then pack it up when the gi class begins (or join the gi class if you so desire). On Saturdays, things have a very different feel because there's not much else going on and it's directly followed by an afternoon of open mat, which is a definite plus.

Dom taught today's class on flower sweeps to submissions, which I really enjoyed. I paired up with Thumper, who got it on the first try while I got all mixed up about what the fuck to do with my legs. By the third attempt, I had it down though. I wasn't confident that I'd be able to roll him over but with the right set up, it's not hard at all. From there, we drilled armbars and rear naked chokes, attempting (with moderate success) to not kick each other in the face and/or other sensitive parts along the way. When Dom had us put on the resistance towards the end, it took me a lot longer to sweep my partner. When I finally did, he would lock his arms in place, making it impossible for me to get the armbar, so I kept resorting to the choke.

Training continues to be great. There was a sudden blizzard on Saturday so I wasn't sure if anyone would even be there and almost didn't go. I'm glad I did though, because I learned a lot of good things to do when trying to stave off attacks from open guard. I'm especially fond of the one where someone's trying to underhook you, you shrimp, kick the leg up, around and back in, and they have to start again. Later on, I kept doing that to Big Boy and Homeboy, and they were getting very frustrated. I've also finally gotten to the point where I'm passing guard more consistently and slightly less flaily-like, so Christian gave me props for that, which made me happy.

During open mat, I got a good ass whooping from Thumper, who I sorely underestimated because he's not as bulky as most of the other guys. But he kept getting side control and mount, and tapping me out time after time. I tried an armbar (hadn't officially learned it yet, was just imitating Youtube) and ended up getting the leg movements reversed. He used the opportunity to armbar me back, but gave me points for trying. I did manage to tap him once though, with a North South Choke, which was awesome. Dom was thrilled when I told him about that.

Today was brutal. I got to the gym at 6:45 and left at 10:15. I've never spent 3.5 consecutive hours at a gym before. To say "I'm utterly exhausted and feeling like a wreck" would be a terrible understatement. It's more like "what's going on? where am I?" right now.

The weather tonight was pretty awful (cold, icy rain) so not many people were there. I asked Killer, who I'd seen once or twice but never worked with, if he wanted to roll to warm up. 15 minutes later I was thinking do I really need a whole class now? That was enough for one night! The guy is big with strong holds that don't allow you to move at all (of course this is all relative to me; I'm sure more experienced grapplers and/or guys his own size don't have this problem) and, although he was impressed by how aggressive I was, he still kicked my ass up and down the mat. It was a massive effort trying to hold my own, but hey...I want to get in shape, right? What better way than desperately trying to not get utterly destroyed? A few times, I managed a successful takedown by flipping him backwards. Unfortunately, that was normally as far as I got. I'd fling myself down and try to pass but somewhere along the way he'd use his legs to get me into a head lock or flip me over and then that was the end of it. I was hyperventilating and dripping from head to foot by the time we finished and drained my water bottle in one go. Great experience.

Today's class was much busier than last weekend and there was a guy who was actually around my size, so we worked on takedowns together. It was quite different from the usual grappling classes and good stuff to learn. I had trouble with a few of the moves, mainly because my right quad was tightening up and hurting, but I suffered through it and got a few of the other techniques down well enough for Isley to yell out a compliment at one point.

When the hour was up, I decided to hang around for open mat and, you know...actually try to participate this time. First, I caught Dom and had him give me a little get-rollin' 101 to get a better idea of how to begin a roll without tackling like a drunken tiger. He imparted a few gems that were very useful and then told me to get some defensive tips from Christian, who proceeded to give me a better idea of what to do when on your back.

I stalked around the mat for a bit and when I saw that Big Boy's partner had gotten up to leave, I went for it. BB seemed happy enough to roll with me, even though it was only my second time. He started out light so that I could figure out what I was doing and made it tougher as we went along. He got me down a bunch of times but I did manage to get him into a couple of chokes from behind (when I say "get" I mean he pretty much gave me the opening intentionally, to let me practice) and Christian came by and helped me to tighten up my Rear Naked Choke.

Today was the first time that I rolled. For real. As in, not just learning and practicing a few specific moves with basic resistance but rolling properly and actually going for the submission. Getting a few standalone moves down is, I've learned, completely different from trying to roll and apply them while you're being dominated every which way. I got a taste of that on Tuesday but wow, today I got completely whipped by three different people.

There were only six of us in the no-gi class today and I ended up with Spaceman again. Yanitza was sitting on the mat next to us and attempted to coach me from the sidelines, with my partner helping out as well. They both offered some great advice but I can't say that I was able to do much with it considering how fucking fast the guy moves and how little practice I've had with this sort of thing. I tried to give him enough resistance to be a good training partner but not knowing anything more than try to keep the knees up and get your legs around him I'm not sure I gave him much to work with.

Spaceman kicked my butt a few times before noticing that one of my big toes was blistered and bleeding, and we stopped so that I could tape it up. Before we could start again, Christian had him switch to work with one of the guys who had more experience and asked Yanitza to help me out. I felt bad because she'd just finished the kickboxing class and was going to do the gi class afterwards...the no-gi hour is usually her break in between the two so I had to figure she was completely exhausted. She was a really good sport though and worked with me for the rest of class, patiently showing me a few options for breaking out of closed guard (which I eventually managed at half-speed and with a bit of flailing) and rolled with me a bunch of times so that I could get a feel for it. I had a great time and learned a bunch of things to not do.

Just got home and am feeling so invigorated. I smell like a monstrous combination of man sweat, old cologne and gym funk and I couldn't be in a better mood. Something was different today. Five classes in and it's like I finally found my groove. Do I still have tons of catching up to do? Duh. Do I know everybody yet? Course not. But my confidence has magically gone way up.

When I walked in today, it was the first time I didn't have that imaginary audience everyone's-watching-me feeling. I said hi to some folks I'd seen around, talked quite a bit with people I've gotten to know and then when class started, for the first time since day one, I had no trouble. No staring blankly trying to figure out what the fuck everyone else was doing and how the fuck they were doing it. No struggling to keep up with the warmups. No overwhelming HUH?? feeling when Christian demonstrated the move. No requests for extra help because I was totally lost. I just...did it. Not perfectly, but as well as any other beginner. The biggest sign that I'm feeling more at home is that instead of hanging back when the class was told to pair up, waiting for whoever was unlucky enough to be left over and stuck with the newbie, I turned straight to the guy next to me, who I'd never seen before, and said "let's go." Ambitious, perhaps, but I was finally in that zen I can totally do this shit too place.