This is quite possibly the most soothing, adorable, beautiful little video ever.

Dad just told me that it's nice to see me sporting my "mismatched fashion sense." I don't know what he's talking about. Red definitely goes with turquoise, white and neon orange. And rainbow goes with EVERYTHING.

1. Customary near-death experience followed by suddenly remembering to check condition of bike gears and brakes: Done.

2. Mentally prepare self for the unfortunate fact that over the next two weeks, millions of bugs will make kamikaze runs at head, arms and legs when biking around the back roads: Done.

3. Line up multiple bottles of ginger-appropriate 100 SPF sunscreen and protective baseball cap: Done.

4. Get into mind-numbing relaxation mode: Done.

...SO GLAD TO BE BACK IN ORIENT, LONG ISLAND!

I really wish that obnoxious, bitter people wouldn't be allowed to man customer service phones. I just paid a revised medical bill and asked the woman (who I'd gotten into a massive fight with about the same bill last week) if I could now disregard the earlier - much higher - bill.

Her: I can't tell you that.

Me: What do you mean? It's been paid now, so I can throw out this other one since it no longer applies, right?

Her: Well, I can't tell you what to do with your bills, ma'm.

Me: I just need to know if I can ignore this bill and throw out anything that may arrive in the next week in case you sent out another notification beforehand.

Her: Well, I can't tell you to throw out your bills. Some people like to keep them for their records.

Me: Okay, I'm just trying to confirm that my entire balance has been paid and that I can disregard this earlier incorrect bill and any others that might already be in the mail.

*silence*

Me: I mean, there's nothing else I need to do, right? Like if I get another bill that was sent out before today.

*silence*

Me: All right, whatever, thanks.

Her: Have a nice day.